As a budding comedian, I’m taking classes to sharpen my skills. Last week, our homework was to write down a joke to share in class. Honestly, this terrifies me. I’ve convinced myself that jokes lose their edge once written down, but deep down, I know it’s just my insecurities talking. So, I procrastinated all week until a moment of peace in the quietest room of the house - the toilet - inspired me.

Here’s the joke: Costco Ever visited Costco on a weekend? It’s like Times Square on New Year’s Eve - packed like cattle, with everyone angry for no reason.

And the samples?

I can’t resist them, even if it means enjoying a bit of old people sneezes and kid burps with my food.

Somehow, it never tastes the same at home. Why is that?

Navigating Costco is like traversing the nine circles of hell. Once you’re in, you’re in. It’s the same with IKEA. I always pack a lunch. I even tie a thread to the front door and turn on my GPS. We bring our hunting gear, just in case. I once got stuck in IKEA for three days. I was on the top floor and didn’t realize I had to go downstairs. I didn’t see stairs when I came in.

Where was I? Ah, Costco. What a place…

Brandon